Blurb
Comedy writer Luke Jessop’s life is in stasis. He hasn’t written a word since his wife, Billie, died almost three years ago and on finding a pile of old letters from her ex, Adam, he has begun to wonder how well he really knew her. Embarking on a pilgrimage to Italy, Luke determines to piece together the full story about his wild and sometimes secretive love. But with Adam refusing to answer his questions and a flame-haired hotel guest threatening his fragile calm, can Luke finally face the truths of the past and learn to live again?
My review
The book is initially set in 1993 and Adam, Billie’s first husband, is finally leaving her after ten years, a decision he’s put off for years until her last scene, the final straw. He’s walking away from their New Forest home but with the proviso that Billie sells their home and shares the proceeds. For the moment though, he needs distance from her and has ensured she won’t know where he’ll be living with university colleague Christine.
Luke married Billie years after her divorce from Adam and she helped him to raise his son Jude, from his own divorce. Their marriage sounds idyllic and loving and is recounted after Billie’s death from cancer from Luke’s perspective.
Still grief-stricken three years later, he finds a small, locked box in her office and knowledge of his wife’s habits ensures he easily finds the key. Inside he discovers letters she’s received from her first husband, Adam, and which document the passage of their relationship. Desperate to speak to someone who loved Billie to the extent he does, this box starts a pilgrimage to the place in Italy where he and Billie shared many happy holidays and which Luke discovers had been recommended to her by ex-husband Adam.
Luke tracks Adam down but is rebuffed and realises that the two Billie’s were reflected very differently. Two days later, Adam Byrne turns up at Luke’s hotel and Luke feels this is his opportunity to get some closure in advance of the anniversary of Billie’s death.
I really enjoyed this gentle slow-burner and its exploration of the stages of grief, which were often reflected through the people Luke met on this holiday and opened up to in ways he wouldn’t have felt comfortable at home and with someone familiar who he might have felt he would see again.
The title felt a little clunky, there is a line part way through the book, which I had felt was a better title: The Embers of Doused Fires but then almost at the end of the book we learn that ‘dark clouds bring waters’ is a line from The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, which refers to the soothing effect of rain after intense heat. I wonder if this reference should have come a lot earlier? Additionally, because it feels clumsy and may not be instantly recognised by a lot of readers I wonder if the author should consider changing it for something with better flow? Obviously this is just my personal opinion.
Settings and characters were beautifully described, developed and investigated with the knowledge that there are often hidden depths to what we see on the outside. Here’s an example: ‘… Luke made his way back to his room to shower. As the water gushed, he felt a tear falling from his eye. Soon more came, then a torrent of them accompanied by a gutteral sound of choked pain. He pressed his hands into the shower wall, bowed his head and felt the water cascade down his back. He remembered her back. So slim, so smooth, so perfect. Until the cancer drugs demanded payment for their work and caused a huge black bruise at its centre. Like a target. He stood weeping, for how long he knew not. Until he grew tired of his tears.’
About the author
V Books is the website for the novels of Ian Ridley. For many years, Ian was a sports writer on national newspapers, including The Guardian, The Observer and The Mail on Sunday. After also writing 14 sports books, he now pens crime and thriller fiction. His first novel in the Jan Mason, investigative journalist series, OUTER CIRCLE, was republished by V in June of 2022, with the second book, DON’T TALK , appearing on 8 November 2022. His third novel, in a literary genre and entitled DARK CLOUDS BRING WATERS, has a January 2024 release.
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